It’s funny what things stick with you in life. Back when I was in college, one of my professors somehow got onto the subject of constructive criticism and decided to teach the class the method he uses for offering “critical” advice to people.

It’s called the hamburger method, and here’s how it works:

When offering a critique, you begin with a constructive compliment on something the person does well (Otherwise known as the fluffy bun part). You then get to the meat of the matter, which of course is the constructive criticism part. Finally, you end with another constructive compliment (i.e. the other half of the fluffy bun).

Basically, you’re sandwiching the constructive criticism between two constructive compliments. In my experience, it’s been an extremely effective technique, largely due to its disarming effective. It helps people let down their guard, and receive the criticism without being as defensive.

Here’s an example:

“Hey Defensive Dave, I noticed you went out of your way to submit your expense report on time every month for the last three months – that’s great! I do, however, think it’s a bad idea to call Jane in accounting an “ignorant slut”. She may not be familiar with that old 1970’s Saturday Night Live Television skit and may be offended by your comment. But overall, your interaction with the team has been great – thanks for making the effort.”

I once suggested the hamburger method to a client who quickly dismissed the technique as “candy coating.” Maybe it is, but if it gets a better result, isn’t that the whole point? Medicine manufactures candy coat the medicine all the time, for two reasons:

1) So people will take it, and

2) because it tastes like crap if they don’t.

If given the choice between cherry or crap flavored medicine, which would you chose?

Also, I think a 2 to 1 ration of constructive compliments to constructive criticism makes sense because it affirms the desired behavior or practice.

So here are a few things to consider before offering criticism:

1. Is the criticism truly constructive? Here are some synonyms for “constructive”: Positive, helpful, productive, useful, beneficial, and practical. Antonym: Destructive.

2. Why am I offering this criticism in the first place? Is it because I’m trying to be helpful or just because I’m an a**hole?

3. Is the criticism necessary and appropriate? Does it have a great impact on the “grander scheme of things”, or am I just being nitpicky. Will focusing on this issue be worth the time and effort in the long run?

4. Do I have the right, or better yet – have I earned the right to speak into this person’s life? The difference between “management” and “leadership” has a lot to do with the relationship you have with your team. “Managers” tend to focus on control, whereas real leaders take people to the next level.

5. Finally, have I noticed at least two things to compliment before commencing with the criticism?

If you’ve run through the list and are satisfied that the criterion is met, then give the hamburger method a try. I think you’ll find it’s a great tool for offering truly “constructive” criticism.

Source :The Hamburger Method of Constructive Criticism

Many times, during the course of a day, we have to deal with irate people.  Whether we are in Customer Service and dealing with angry customers or school administrators dealing with angry parents, handling an irate person and being able to lead them to a more calm — and logical — state can be a very desired skill.

The most common mistake that people make is to assume that when someone is out of control, we should calm our voices to model the desired state we wish the person to have.  The assumption is that the other person will match us and a calm and logical conversation can then take place.  Unfortunately,  this rarely happens.  Instead, because of the calm demeanor, the complainant doesn’t feel heard.  Their rationale is that since the listener is not as outraged as they are, they must not have been listening or they don’t believe what was shared.  The result is no trust so the person remains angry and outraged.

A better approach is called “Pace and Lead”.  The first step is to match the complainant’s emotional intensity.  This is not agreeing with the person.  This is simply responding with the same emotions that are being presented.  If a person is complaining that the delivery person scratched the new dryer as they installed it and was outraged, the customer service rep would respond in an outraged fashion: “They what?!?  You’ve got to be kidding!  If that happened, it’s unacceptable!!”  This is pacing.  After matching the emotional intensity, the rep would begin to, slowly, de-escalate the intensity to a normal level, leading the complainant to a state that is more productive for dealing with the problem.  This is leading.  If at first the representative tries to lead, but the complainant fails to follow, the rep would simply raise the intensity level again and then try to lead the complainant back down again.  This is repeated until successful.  I’ve dealt with irate individuals in this fashion and am usually able to have them down to a productive level within 2 – 3 minutes.

This approach allows a complainant to feel heard and provides the best way to reach a calm and logical state quickly.

source : Bert Webb:How to Deal With An Irate Person

Another hot chick at Olympics – Leryn Franco

Hottest Athlete of the Olympics

Called the “hottest athlete of the Olympics,” Leryn Franco is a 26 year old aspiring model and Javelin thrower from the country of Paraguay.

I am almost certain you haven’t tapped out on gorgeous Olympians just yet. Meet Leryn Franco. She’s a 26 year old Paraguayan javelin thrower with two Olympic competitions under her lovely belt. She’s also a professional model and former runner-up in the Miss Paraguay pageant as well as a runner-up in the Miss Bikini Universe pageant. Basically, she has quite the modeling resume to go along with her athletic prowess.

She’s currently one of seven Paraguayan athletes competing in this year’s Olympics and she’s scheduled to participate at the Beijing Bird’s Nest Stadium. Although her best mark in the javelin is 55.38 meters and she placed 42nd overall in the 2004 Summer Olympics, Leryn wins Gold for the hottest Olympian. Need proof? Just take a look at the photos below.

Can Exercise Improve your Sex Life?

Once I can remember that I read an article on this probing topic. whether you’re a fitness junkie or exercising for the first time, it’s worthy reading this to find out that “Can exercise make a huge impact on having a better sex life?” I extracted this article from “Greg Shealey, M.S.” who is a health educator and presidant and founder of Bio-Fit and Wellness

There are several rational reasons why a physically fit person is more likely to fully enjoy sex compared to a non-fit person. For instance, improved muscle tone can increase sexual gratification since orgasms depend on multiple muscle activity. In the case of the more mature man, improved cardiovascular fitness can be critical for maximum sexual function.
Physically fit men seem to benefit in the bedroom as it relates to increased libido and stable testosterone levels that often decline as men age. On the other hand, sex can be as much mental as it is physical, and a person’s physical appearance can be beneficial on an emotional level, as well. Looking and feeling healthy can increase your self-esteem while making you feel more attractive.

The relationship between physical fitness and sexual function is not the only factor that may increase a person’s sexual pleasure. Some researchers attribute a good exercise program, along with other healthy activities such as good eating habits, smoking cessation and getting plenty of rest, with having a positive effect on sexual performance for people of all ages.

A study conducted at the University of California-San Diego tracked 78 middle-aged men on an aerobic exercise program. The subjects exercised at moderate intensity for 60 minutes a day, three or four days a week. After nine months of continuous exercise, these subjects reported that their sex life was more satisfying as far as stamina and orgasms. In comparison, 17 male subjects that performed light workout routines such as walking at a comparatively slower pace stated that they had no substantial improvement in their sex lives.

In conclusion, exercise alone should not be considered the panacea for all sexual dysfunctions or dissatisfaction. However, if you hope to improve your sex life through exercise, you should carefully consider adopting a more comprehensive healthy lifestyle in order to increase the possibility of fully experiencing your sexual peak.